March 14/10 - 6:09 p.m.

Gone
by laurenwhite

Put on my shoes,
walk out your door.
Gave you a smile
that you'll ignore.
Walked to the car,
two hands in my jeans.
Should have known then,
what it all means.

It wasn't just me
couldn't say goodbye.
I wouldn't leave you,
you couldn't stand to see me cry.
I'll do you a favour
and stay out of your way.
But one day you'll wonder
why I went away.

This is my beginning,
take a tune, continue singing.
I'll be this forever,
be your girl of summer.
But for me you're a beginning,
the world continues spinning.
I'm gone.

You rehearse your lines,
in your bathroom mirror.
"I miss you, girl
I want this forever."
I look into your eyes
but how easy I forget,
you've got that other girl,
I'm just your regret.

This is my beginning,
take a tune, continue singing.
I'll be this forever,
be your girl of summer.
But for me you're a beginning,
the world continues spinning.
I'm gone.
I'm gone.
I'm gone.

I'm just here to remind you,
I'm done waiting for forever.
Would rather stay a memory,
that girl from that hot summer.

I'm just beginning,
just keep singing, singing.
Stay this forever,
that one girl from summer.
Yeah I'm just beginning
the world won't stop spinning.
I'm gone.
I'm gone away.

February 21/10 - 4:55 p.m.

Platform
by lauren white

I have the smallest name,
one assured to carve in stone.
In the end no one's to blame,
we've all spent some time alone.

Throw my hands against the wall,
shattered glass and broken hands.
I've faught the battles, lost them all,
failed strategies and plans.

I've been stuck in heart ache,
let the last train pass me by.
Can't lose what i cant shake.
Why leave when I could try?

February 12/10 - 6:11 p.m.

Now's Not A Good Time
by lauren white

A cracked sidewalk sulked beneath our feet as we made our way together.
Our palms sweaty, intertwined, the clouds spinning in our sky.
I love the spots that mature your face, and the smile that shames the sunlight.
All I can hear is laughter, the beautiful song of our simple past, and our new future.

A cold floor chills me, numb, as I lay alone on tiled floor.
My palms sweaty, a nervous wreck, thoughts spinning in my head.
I hate those stupid freckles, I hate your fake grin, I really do.
I can still hear that echoed laughter, the mocking song of the dead past, and the empty future.

Your bedroom sheets my protection, your arms stretched among me, the caress of your fingers.
I could feel you, as close as you've ever been, a heartbeat birthing my life anew.
Close my eyes and I can almost remember summer air.
Close my eyes, and everything you say is real.

My bedroom sheets are my coffin, my arms wrapped around myself, my shaking fingers.
I can't feel a thing, you're farther than you've ever been, and your heartbeat killed my soul.
Close my eyes and I can't take it any longer.
Close my eyes, and I remember every word you never meant.

I see your face, and find my lips onto yours.
You take my breath away, I swear, I never want to live another way.
You hold me, you'd never let me go.
You're my best friend, we're lovers.

I see your face, you won't notice.
You take my breath away 'till I turn blue, I can't live this way.
You won't say a word, and I swear, I can't ever let it go.
You were my best friend, and I lost you.

February 09/10 - 10:16 p.m.

Never Free
by lauren white

Stepped off your doorstep, the sting of night air.
I'll never forget this, won't forget you I swear.
You sputtered a reason, a breath you withdrew.
When did this story become all about you?
An escaped tear, salt down my cheek.
It spun down my lip, reflection of the weak.
My hair in my face as I walked down the drive.
Surprising myself, I came out alive.
You could have been running strait after me,
but I wouldn't have known, don't care. The way it should be.
Your heart can stray elsewhere, wherever you please.
Just don't come back crying. I don't want this disease.
I found the closure I'd prayed for, my entire life.
The disappearance of love, the death of all strife.

Febuary 01/10 - 3:24 p.m.

I'm Just Here To Remind You
by lauren white

You shifted your eyes to the west,
over my shoulder and far away.
A face as vacant as your promises
as you stepped towards me, awkward embrace.

I could feel you breath a sigh,
and I couldn't help but wonder: How did you get so far away?
Your fists clenched,
closed lips.

I keep running back, frantic pebbles on the window sill.
You’re tired apology, the snap of closing blinds.
My bones shake, violence I can't avoid.
I did this to myself.

I'll drive around your block,
watch the shadows dance in yellow light.
I know she's there,
the girl that lit the west with lust.

You tell me we're not through,
I know, we're far from done.
Our love on repeat like our favourite song.
I just don't see how I could forgive you.

You’ve slaughtered all my soul, bottled up my passion.
Hung my heart from a string, pulled up past my reach.
I swear, I'm so sick of this, intoxicated.
The liquor of your absence.

January 31/10 - 12:48 p.m.

A thousand memories loom in morning sun.
Winter blows through my imagination, gusts through lost time.

That gorgeous smile that whispers above my bed, straying me from home.
Where is home?

I still believe in Summer days,
always lost but found again.

It seems all that's consistent is my state of mind.
A frozen pool of emotion, washed out sky above his horizon.

It's true, I'm contained to this.

I'll never be set free, not until the story ends.
A thousand blank pages, please, just take the pen.

January 28/10 - 9:12 p.m.

I'm desperate for words here. I've been searching for the right one's for weeks now. I know what I want him to feel, but no idea how to go about it. I just can't seem to spit it out for the life of me. I suppose it's to be expected from anyone other than me, to be at a loss. This is not the case for me, though. Lack of words is not in my nature, so far out of my norm that it almost scares me how lost I am in my own thoughts.

I keep running the same loop, living my days vaguely. My inspiration is simply emptiness, I suppose. Cold fingertips and empty eyes suddenly my trademark. I wonder if I'm okay. I don't feel okay, but then again, I don't feel much at all.

This is the kind of pain time can't heal.