Friendship. I forgot about it. What a funny thing it is, truly. I lost touch of what it meant to me. All I've ever considered these days, is my relationship. That's stupid. I only had one relationship, but I was neglecting my friendships. Then again, I can't give away my friendship to anyone, anymore. I'm starting to discover trust issues within myself I'd never before possessed. Could you blame me? How am I supposed to trust anyone other than him? He is, after all, the only one who knows me inside an out, reads me like a book, and yet he still keeps his mouth shut. Where else do I find that? Well, in Lauren, but it seems she's distanced to me these days. So only he's at hand. Ironic. I try to back away from him, and I end up turning back with different intentions. Intentions of friendship.
Yeah, you heard me. I'm giving into friendship. I'm guilty, but I'm loving it. It's much easier being on his side than being against him. Against hurts to much. He's practically apart of me, upsetting him is equivalent to angering myself. Why does that make any sense? Seems I only did it before to turn him onto the idea of dating me. Man, I'm an idiot.
This reminds me, I've recently got in touch with myself and realised I don't want to date anyone. Yeah, you heard me. I would still love my next boyfriend, to be the same as my last, but lets not push that. I just want to float along the inevitable. Stop trying to change things before they even begin and let it all run its course. It's the only way. I'm not the only one who has no idea what's in store for all of us. I just hope it's good.
It must be. It simply has to be... right?
No comments:
Post a Comment