You tell me so many things, and I believe them. You keep things away from me, and I over look them. It bothers me, but I suppose I'd rather be in the dark than be exposed to the harsh lighting.
I used to be so sure you meant it, when you said you'd never hurt me. If that were true though, why have I been hurting every day? And why do you push me away and suggest I move on? Yet you keep me sticking around? Why do i feel like a fall back plan, while you explore better possibilities? Oh, don't get me wrong, I've considered other possibilities. Anything to distract me from the neglect. I can't though. It's much harder a task then originally expected.
I'm starting to think I'm not the one who isn't living in reality here. It seems to me, he's lost sight of this situation. I'm not a sitting duck, waiting to be rescued. A damsel in distress waiting for a prince charming to sweep me off my feet. I'm not hopeless. I'm smart, and sure of myself. I'm not a card he can pull from his back pocket when in search of something he cannot elsewhere find.
He can't just snap his fingers and call me back. He's losing me. That's not my fault, that's his fault.
I've made some mistakes in all of this, but it isn't my fault we're no longer together. I cant give ANYONE anymore than what I've given him. I would ask him, what else can i give? The answer is simple: Nothing. He's got almost every ounce of me. To bad he doesn't have my dignity. That, I'm keeping to myself. No one is tearing me down. I need to keep my heart locked up for now, until he finds the key deep within himself. He posses it, but he'll never find it in the state of mind he finds himself in.
If we get back together, it has to be his choice. He has to chase me, and take me in. He has to confess to me and scream it from rooftops. I deserve nothing less. My love is a gift. He's just to stubborn to except it.
I had never before found it possible to lose faith, but still have hope for a better tomorrow.
Boy, I miss your good days. Wake the hell up and look around. Welcome to our dieing relationship.
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